Top tips on starting difficult conversations about Lasting Powers of Attorney from the Office of the Public Guardian

Starting a conversation about lasting powers of attorney (LPAs) with family and friends can feel uncomfortable.

You may think family members can make decisions about your finances or health and welfare if you are no longer able to. This might include tasks like paying bills on your behalf. However, this is not the case—they would need legal authority to do so. Although it can be a challenging topic to discuss, having a registered LPA makes it easier for loved ones to support you when you need it most.

Someone who has created an LPA is known as the donor. Only the donor can make decisions about their LPA, such as choosing their attorneys. An attorney is the person chosen to act for the donor on an LPA. Find more definitions in our tackling terminology blog.

We spoke to Age UK and Dementia UK for their advice on how to start a conversation about LPAs.

5 Top Tips for Starting a Conversation with Family and Friends about LPAs

With thanks to Age UK and Dementia UK for their support.

1. Plan ahead

   Think in advance about the best time and place to start the conversation. Finding a place where everyone feels comfortable and can talk for as long as you need to can help get the conversation off to the right start. It can be useful to bring a few key facts to explain more about what an LPA is, the different types, and how to set one up.

2. Have an open conversation

   Having an open conversation involves discussing all the options without any expectations. Give everyone time and space to express their views and feelings, and ask questions. Listen to each other without judging, and consider choices around finances, health, and welfare.

3. Respect each other’s choices

   Many people may feel anxious talking about LPAs. Always respect each other’s choices. If a family member or friend does not want to talk about making an LPA, respect their choice. Remind each other that you can revisit this conversation another time when everyone is ready. Remember, as a donor, it is your choice who you appoint as your attorneys.

4. Start the conversation early

   Early discussions result in considered and informed decisions. Avoiding the discussion or leaving it too late can make things more difficult. You can only make an LPA if you have the mental capacity to do so. It’s about putting things in place to make things easier later on.

5. Take time to find out more

   Try not to give too much information about making an LPA all at once. After all, there may be many things to consider at length, and too much information in one go can be overwhelming. Instead, note where more information can be found, either online at gov.uk/opg or by printing off information for them.

Expert Advice

Caroline Abrahams, Age UK Charity Director says:

“It can give enormous peace of mind to know someone you trust can act for you in the event you are ever unable to make your own decisions. At the same time, we know conversations about making an LPA, with loved ones or others, are not always easy. It might be hard to talk about money, health and welfare decisions, and the possibility of being unable to make their own decisions in the future. Sometimes it is difficult to know where to start.”

Sue Kirkup, Dementia UK Admiral Nurse says:

“Having an open discussion together enables family members to express their wishes. LPAs help families and healthcare professionals make informed decisions which represent the best interests of their loved one and ensures a person-centred approach. Having an LPA helps avoid confusion and uncertainty in the future. It can reduce the pressure on family members when the time comes to making difficult decisions.”

By starting a conversation today, you can protect your future choices and make it easier for the people you trust to make decisions for you on your behalf. For more information and guidance, visit www.gov.uk/opg.

Contact Information

If you would like to discuss Lasting Powers of Attorney, please contact Helena Grady on (0114 2588887). Helena is a Solicitor and member of the Society of Trust and Estate Practitioners (STEP) with many years’ experience.

Please note that, although Fogwill & Jones (Legal Services) Limited operate from the same premises as Fogwill & Jones Wealth Management Limited, they are entirely separate businesses. The only connection is that both are owned by Colin Fogwill. If you are a client of Fogwill & Jones Wealth Management Limited, you are under no obligation to instruct Fogwill & Jones (Legal Services) Limited, and you may choose to instruct alternative legal advisers.